Diary

Finding our feet

October 26, 2023
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4 min

We have been in South Africa one month now and it is amazingly easy to get back into the old routines – taking the children to school, developing a social life and trying to help the kids to learn about the world. But the old routines take on a new dimension here.

The school run is interesting. If we wanted, on the way to school we could buy washing up liquid, sunglasses, a stack of coathangers and even a chest of drawers, from people selling on the roadside or walking between the cars as we stop at traffic lights. (It is so much better when the lights are working – they seem to go on holiday frequently, particularly at the same time the general public is on holiday for some reason). The children were a bit shocked when a man jumped out at us once and waved his sword around in front of the car windscreen – it transpired he was simply trying to get our attention to examine and ideally buy at least one of his feather dusters.

I had been warned that for our safety we must not stop in the car on the roadside under any circumstances and if we had to stop, not to ask for help. So of course when the car juddered to a halt on a busy highway on the way to school with all the children, I got out and asked for help. And the response was wonderful, alhamdulillah (thanks be to God). A truckful of men helped me get the car off the roadside, and then once they spotted the children inside (who had mercifully been stunned into silence by the episode), offered further help and flagged down a passer-by who towed us to school. Asim (4) at this point became particularly vocal, taking the opportunity to ask lots of technical questions about towing – and was subsequently the star of the class for contributing so vividly to the ‘theme of the week’ which was transport.

Recycling is also a little different here. It takes place much closer to home, with people literally rifling through our dustbins within minutes of the bins being put out in the street. Initially the children were surprised, but already accept it as normal. The kids and I are engaged in a joint effort to collect 1000 cans, so that the can-recycling company will then feel we warrant a visit. It certainly makes me appreciate in retrospect the regular services of our local council in England, but on a positive side is helping the children to count large numbers (Asim had previously thought that numbers stopped at 100).

Everyone has been very welcoming, and the Muslims in particular have welcomed us into the events that are going on in their lives. This is why the children went to a wedding dressed up in their finery where we didn’t even know the names of the bride and groom; and that is why we were all invited to the annual dhikr (gathering for a remembrance of God), hosted by a family who we didn’t know and filled with people who we didn’t know – but I don’t think any of our children remembered God much as they were too busy jumping off the furniture and making friends. The children have been actively making friends at school too. Asim proudly introduced me to his new friend Medicine – I had to gently break it to him that her name was actually Madison. Other people we have come across have turned up at the house with cakes, dates and zamzam, or met up at outside places for breakfast – a novel experience where the adults manage to talk while the kids make random friends in the outdoor play areas. But Safiyya (8) has already realised that it takes time to develop long-lasting friendships.

In quieter moments at home, the children involved themselves in Ramadan, keen to open their (very!) homemade Ramadan calendars to find out what good deed they had to do that day. The day when they had to smile at people backfired slightly: Amaani (3) and Asim both put on a forced smile which closely resembled a scary grimace. They also all set themselves personal targets for the month. Amaani achieved hers, managing not to push Asim into any swimming pool she came across for the whole month. Asim’s target was to be less crazy – he failed completely but told me happily that God had made him like this. And Safiyya had made a valiant attempt at achieving her rather ambitious and multiple targets of reading Qur’an, staying calm and kind, and helping the poor throughout the month – perhaps next time I should insist she tries to be little bit more realistic. But for each of them, the targets were all a bit of a distraction from the main event that they used to love in the UK, and were so eagerly waiting for in South Africa: the day of Eid, and the prospect of presents!