The golden rule

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Reminiscing through childhood videos, I come across a moment where my toddler son is clutching onto a toy train with all his might. His baby sister is eyeing it with longing and is in tears. A family friend asks my son: “What are you doing?” And he replies “I’m holding onto it so my sister can’t have it”, replying with the kind of honesty that world leaders rarely express.

As a Muslim, I'm reminded of the profound teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) regarding the Golden Rule. He said, “None of you has faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” And I’ve always understood it to apply to sisters too!

As a sibling myself, I’m  involved in my own battle for recognition, albeit in a much more genteel way.

My mother has a spare bedroom. For historical reasons I can’t quite remember, the room has always been referred to as Julie’s room, after my adult sister.

A few weeks ago at a family meet-up, over breakfast I suggested to my sister we think about renaming that room. “You want it to be called Lucy’s room”, she asked? And I came straight back, saying “I don’t think it has to be one or the other. Surely there’s another option?” And there was a moment of mutual joy and laughter as the penny dropped, as my sister must have reflected on how that might feel for me, suggesting: How about it is our room?

The Golden rule encapsulates that essence of empathy, urging us to treat others as we would wish to be treated. This principle can be found within all the faith traditions and philosophies,  in all time periods, everywhere.

And Islamic teachings go beyond mere reciprocity. In the book Muslims turn to for guidance, the Qur'an, God enjoins “justice, doing good, and generosity” (Qur'an 16:90). At a time of global divisions, it challenges me to share what I have, to  extend kindness well beyond those closest to me, and to transcend biases to see the humanity in others.

And soon I’ll be off to visit my mother, to sleep not in Julie’s room, and not in my own Lucy’s room – I’ll be in Juicy’s room.

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