Unity

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My son was keen to get married with his bride-to-be. They agreed the date and started making plans. There was just one problem with the wedding planning: one of his sisters was away the weekend they had chosen. My son initially wasn’t too fazed at the absence of such a close family member: perhaps she could just join by a video call.

My gym buddy wasn’t surprised. “A daughter is a daughter all your life. A son Is a son until he takes a wife” she told me.

In the book Muslims turn to for guidance, the Qur’an, God talks about husbands and wives using an analogy. "They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them." Clothes provide protection, comfort and, crucially, support! The comparison emphasises the emotional and spiritual companionship a marriage provides.

When people become united, the same unity has the potential to leave others out.  The couple remembered Prophet Muhammad used to say “marriage is half of faith”. And that the bond of marriage unites more than just the two of them.

So the bride- and groom-to-be looked into the timing again. They moved the occasion to a date all siblings could make.

Last weekend, the bride’s cousins rallied round and expertly decorated the wedding hall with creative use of silk and sage-coloured sashes. The beautiful bride entered, the imam shared thoughts on the loving bonds of marriage, the two mothers made heartfelt speeches, and vows were exchanged surrounded by family and friends. Tears on both sides flowed freely  – tears for the loss of current relationships, combined with tears of deepest happiness for future ones.  In line with a tradition followed by so many cultures, they gave each other rings, the unbroken circle reflecting they will be sharing their lives, dreams and responsibilities. Over chicken curry, chai, chocolate and camomile tea, we came together: spouses, families and communities.

Given the marriage bond extends further to wider family and friends, there's already talk of another party. It’s to include many more who’ve been involved in the couple’s upbringing and who would love to remain part of their lives. Fortunately, we now have lots of time to figure out a new date.

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